Git-R-Done! Today, (May 28th) is Cher's birthday. 1/3 of her body turned 62! Badabing! Here's some TV trivia... Remember Cagney & Lacey the female cops? Sources close to the show (a friend of the first grips cousin had a brother that delivered water there and heard this from a guy who's sister was on the set and was friends with Cagney's publicist's friend's friend... so ya know it's true) anyway, this close source said that on days when Cagney & Lacey were PMSing they actually thought of changing the name of the show to "Drippy & Spotty"! (Boy, that's a long way to go for that piece of crap punch line!) I hope everyone's finally enjoying some warm weather. It was so hot today I saw a church sign that said, "We have A.C. and J.C." It was so hot today... HOW HOT WAS IT? I was in L.A. and saw George Michael in the park with his pants ALL the way off! OK, enough of the hot jokes. By the way, is it just me or is Sarah Jessica Parker starting to look exactly like Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister? I aint sayin' I'm just sayin'! I went to a couple garage sales yesterday. I love garage sales. I actually did all my Christmas shopping at a garage sale. I got gifts for all my family and friends for 4 dollars and 30 cents! It was awesome. Not all garage sales are good though. Did you ever see someone having a yard sale and the stuff they have is so crappy you can't tell if it's a yard sale or they're being evicted? You gotta think, "OK, they got all this crap to the yard, now they just need to push it the rest of the way to the curb and the trash men will get it Tuesday." Ok, time to update!

Oh before I forget... Remember in the last update that I told ya that I wrote a gas price joke and didn't know if it was funny or not and I would try it out at my show and let ya know. The joke was... Gas is so expensive that arsonists are now breaking into abandoned buildings with boom boxes and just playing the song "Fire" by the Ohio Players. I tried it 3 times... Survey says...... SUCKS!!! Thanks to all three arenas that participated. Ok, NOW lets update...

The DVD of Witless Protection comes out on June 10th. I hope you enjoy watching it as much as we enjoyed making it. It really is funny and I'm still amazed at how Hollywood always overlooks these theatrical masterpieces! Look for me on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on the 13th of June. It will be my 17th appearance on the show and I wanna thank all my friends there for always inviting and treating me like family. They're a classy show. (except when I'm on)

My little boy's favorite show is the Family Feud. I also like the Family Feud. I love game shows. I actually watch so many game shows I'm starting to refer to my wife's privates as the "winners circle"! BADABING! Anyway guess what? NBC... July 1st... at 8PM. I was invited to go up against Bill Engvall's family in a celebrity version of Family Feud and I jumped at the chance. Ive been watchin' this show since I was a young fat Chinese boy bussin' tables at Shoneys and can't believe I get to go on it. It'll be me and my wife, my brother, my Mom, and my sister. (not the one with the moles... she's already booked on Maury Povich) We'll be going up against the Bill Engvall family. We tape it on June 1st and all proceeds and winnings go to our charities. Speaking of charities... as everyone knows, unless you're Pygmy or Amish, I'm always proud to say my charity is JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation). But now I'm also happy to announce another great organization I'll be working with. The Arnold Palmer Children's Hospital Orthapedic Division in Orlando. Both of these organizations do wonderful things and my wife and I are honored to be able to be a part of them.

So finally, here we are approaching the 1st of June and I've finished the first half of my tour for 2008. Once again I can't thank the fans enough for your support. I have a few dates scattered throughout the Summer and then I'll pick it up again hard in October through the first week in December. Keep your eyes on the schedule as we're adding new dates every few weeks. I hope I see ya soon!

Double finally, I have a brand new kick ass fan site that's now online. Check it out at GitRDone.com... I heard there might be BBQ finger weiners!

Triple final, (Holy s##t, this is almost like a KISS farewell tour... it just keeps going and going.) Also in the next month or two, look for a complete refresh of THIS web site with the latest in computer technology. Beings how I have no idea what they were talking about when they were trying to get me to purchase the latest in computer technology, I guess I'll have to be surprised with ya'll. I just know whatever it is, it's gonna be kick ass! (It better be or I'm gonna be out 72 bucks.)

That's it. Have a great couple weeks and I'll talk to ya in a few. I love ya!

GIT-R-DONE!!!

Larry The Cable Guy